Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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