Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
