The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
