She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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