I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
