So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
