This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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