it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
