i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
