ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
