wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
