At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
