haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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