Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
