thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize