I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
