He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
