how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
