jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Pants are for mortals
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
