tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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