Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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