My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
