the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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