When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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