It was confusing and full of hummus
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
