Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
