4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
