A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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