capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize