I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
