if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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