I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
smell my finger.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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