do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
