I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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