yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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