Can Purell be used as lube?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
