so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
