If that was your dad, he is hot
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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