when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
