is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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