first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
