im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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