I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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