We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
