Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He did a backflip because drugs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
