yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
