I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
