Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This is the third time this month a guy Iโm not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Iโve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I canโt even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
