You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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