She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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