I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
