Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
