A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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