Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize