i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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