..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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