I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
